When I’m Outside, I Feel Free: Lessons in Creating a Future

When I’m outside, I feel free. I run swiftly down inclines steep enough that, if I fall, I’ll tumble without stopping. The injury potential forces focus, but not decreased speed. There’s nothing else to focus on except the split-second decision of where my next step will land.

If I want clarity, I leave walls and roofs behind. I use the open sky as a chance to dream.

I used to think I was a poser. Even as a card-carrying, garage sale-loving REI member, could I call myself “outdoorsy” if I didn’t spend every free moment on the trail? Then I hiked 40 miles in two days at Yosemite, reaching a physical elevation of 10,000 feet and a mental elevation of complete freedom.

I love the feeling of legs and lungs burning. Of the body wanting to stop and the mind denying it. Of growth through desirable suffering. It translates to the areas of life that keep me indoors, tied to my computer and the requests of an evolving career. Of making those quick decisions because growth requires it.

Focused on growth through desirable suffering.

These areas keep me feeling emotionally outside of common societal bounds. I’m not a part of hustle culture or of keeping to the status quo. I float between while finding my voice.